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Food for thoughtLife

Shhhhh… Our Relationship Is A Secret

There is a difference between keeping your relationship private and having a secret relationship. If someone asks to keep the relationship a SECRET then someone’s not being honest! I am not saying that a man or a woman has to blast to the world their relationship. I am not saying that he “must” put his woman on social media. She doesn’t have to put her man on social media either. What I am saying is that if he/she want to post a picture it shouldn’t be a issue. I personally believe that if a person does not want others to know they are in a relationship then they are hiding something. They might not be ashamed of the person they are dating but they are acting single on social media, i.e. he sliding in DM’s or women are sliding in his DM’s and he/she is entertaining their advances.

[NOTE] If you are just having sex with someone and you do not know the status of your relationship you likely in a situationship and you will remain unclear of what you have with the person until you have a conversation. If that person tell you they do not want a relationship and you keep having sex with that person and “acting” like you are in a relationship and get your feelings hurt that is your fault. The person told you the truth. Clarity is everything!

Let’s get specific with these fellas though…

I have found that some men like to omit information. When this happens he will say things like, “You didn’t ask me” and “You assumed this or that, we never discussed it”. Ladies, beware! The other things that men say is, “I don’t want people in my business”. He’s also saying, “People don’t want to see you with me, they going to hate on us”. Those are red flags!  I do advise you to run. If a man says that he doesn’t want to have his personal business on social media I have found that those men do not have social media accounts. They are not posting selfies for likes they are completely uninterested in social media. The men that do have social media accounts when they are with a woman and they are truly committed to her and their relationship is not a secret, he posts her. He may not post her all the time but you know for sure he has a woman, he claims her at all times. At no time is he telling people, “this my friend, we just kicking it or hanging out, or this my sister in Christ”. Ladies, we have to stop falling for the mess and lies, we have to respect ourselves.

I am warning you to be careful, be watchful and most of all protect your peace. These are the type of men that will string you along for years and before you know it you are unmarried and still dating the same person at 45! (Unless that is what you want, I am not knocking anyone, we all have our preferences.) I can only speak for myself and based off of multiple conversations that I have had with friends if he is not on the trajectory for marriage by year 2 at the most then you need to get out of that relationship. If you have caught him cheating or lying habitually, then that is why your relationship is a secret. He wants to keep the image of availability so that he can continue to meet and see other people. In the meantime, his woman is left looking stupid and wasting her life waiting in the shadows for a man that has no intention of ever claiming her in public. It is sad and I have seen it happen to so many women.

My mommy and daddy just didn’t raise me to wait on a man forever or to be a secret.

If he don’t claim you in public leave him alone! Don’t be foolish he’s not going to ever go public with you because of his own skeletons. It’s not you. I truly mean that, it is not the woman that has the problem it is the man and he cannot commit to any woman until he get his mess together. Honestly, you don’t want to be with a man that does not celebrate you! If you are a secret then it is likely someone else is his secret too.

Some folks want to be single forever and that’s cool but they need to stop leading their long suffering partner on. If you want more you have to be with a person that wants more with you. If marriage is a part of your plan and he wants to just continue dating forever… RUN!!!!

Swayyvo
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